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Archive for August, 2010

August 24.

The tests weren’t hard, I had all the points in my head but somehow I just couldn’t pen them down during the tests. And so for at least 2 subjects I missed my A or pass by just one or 2 marks. Fml. I just don’t understand how people who don’t listen in class, don’t study as much can score higher than average. Really, fml.

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August 23

Common tests have been over for a few days already. It’s time to rest and relax, or so I think. There’s still work to be done now that I think of it. Chinese homework, urgh. I’ve got to complete as much of it as possible if I want extra marks for my CA2 scores. Damn it. Stupid Chinese department.

Got back Chemistry paper. Failed again. Whatever, used to it and I know I studied. I just don’t have a fate with it. But damn it, I feel unjustified. People who sleep during lessons, don’t bother to listen, can pass. I try my best not to sleep even though lessons are boring because I want to pass. I’m not asking for an A1, but I still fail.

A.Math as well. A1. Yes it’s good. It’s been pretty smooth-sailing. Though I could have gotten full marks if I were just a teeny-weeny more careful. But never mind. The fact that I made no improvement just rubs salt into the wound. Yes I’m a bit arrogant, but that’s only for Math.

Life is unfair. I’ve avoided thinking about this for quite some time already, but these few days, I can’t help it. Some people get almost everything they wanted at their beck and call. But me, I just never get anything. And then there’s nothing for me to live for as well. I may have a roof over my head and food to eat, but this kind of aimless life, honestly it’s not worth living. I may as well be dead.

I’m not an ingrate, don’t say I’m not sparing a thought for my parents for thinking this way. But who has spared a thought for me anyway?

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These days I’m feeling quite the pressure. Have already started studying for common tests. It’s not always that I start studying this early for tests. Usually it’s burning the midnight oil, everything is last minute. But I can’t keep going on like this. My grades will remain stagnant and I’ll keep blaming myself for not doing well.

But over the weeks, I think I’ve more or less proven to myself that I really could achieve things if I work hard enough, maybe not everything, but at least I’ve tried and really have tried my best.

I may not have the talents, nor the smarts, but I do think I can be quite hardworking if I put my heart into it.

Bring it on, common tests, I’ll be prepared for you this time (I think, haha).

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