Archive for November, 2010

I’m all cool now. I know I was just to reckless to post that previous blog, but let’s forget about it.


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After almost an hour of talking, I actually still feel misunderstood. Maybe it’s just me though…
It’s like, they’re blaming me, because I’m just not flexible enough. I am bad-tempered, and it’s not that I have never tried to be good-tempered. I want to, but sometimes, circumstances really make me want to blow my top. And I do, because I’m only human.

I know it was not easy from the start, it never was, and I know that for a fact of course.
And of course I have complained time and again, but again, I’m only human, I have just as much right to this and that.
Though yes, this is a service that I have agreed to do. It’s a service, I get the idea. For my whole life, I have just been serving others. Helping and listening out others, etc. I’m even doing childcare, serving for children of the future. I volunteered yes, but hell, who cares for the CIP hours. I already have 97 hours, I did it out of my own free will. I never dread doing any of these that I CHOSE to do. Honestly I’m glad that I’m able to experience all these. They’re not flies not worth protecting, not worth giving, I know I should not give up on them. I did not. Open your ears, ask around, I’m still doing what I can. Will they thank me for the class tee, if we get it done? That I don’t care. I’m glad I’m able to give, because I don’t want to see anyone living a life as unfortunate as mine. Though not when I’m just taking the rap for them.
But then again, when I have done and cared so much for the people out there, who’s there to do the same for me. I know some do. I recognise them and I’m thankful towards them. I don’t ask for much, I just want people to appreciate me for what I’ve done. I may be all smiles and laughing at times, but learn to see through the masks.

We’re being groomed as leaders, yes. But at the same time, we have our own lives to lead. I am just as much of an individual as everyone else, I have things I want to do for myself as well.

If it’s about serving, I have done well. I’m bad-tempered, I’m volatile, I’m stubborn, I’m especially good at criticizing, I’m not the best at leading. And I’m trying to change, people just don’t see it. I don’t mind receiving advices, but people just know how to misunderstand.

And if by chance the two of you read this and get angry, you’ve misunderstood me, again.

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